The GOP Revolution is Going Viral. Amour Not so Much

Last week while trying to eat at my favorite East Cobb Mexican restaurant, the aroma of blood pressure medication filled the room. The loud conversation from the next table diverted my attention away from my delicious tacos. A grandfatherly type who reminded me of Howard Sprague from the Andy Griffith Show was speaking to an equally loud Otis Campbell type, whose large tummy kept him from getting too close to the table. Instead of enjoying the company of what looked like two grandkids and a grandmother also at the table, Otis and Howard were talking about how a revolution might be coming.

This type of conversation used to be shared exclusively by white supremacists and militia members. I was comfortable with extremists saying extremely dumb things. That is what they do. But Howard Sprague and Otis Campbell took me by surprise. The fictional characters Howard Sprague and Otis Campbell read from a script. These old guys at the restaurant got their anger and talking points straight from TV and the radio.

The “if you say it, I’ll repeat it” crowd is getting bigger. At my doctor’s office the next morning, there was more of the same. The guy sitting next to me was explaining to his neighbor on the other side about how a revolution is coming. Picture Otis Campbell’s grandfather from up the holler who has one shirt, one pair of pants, and no socks. He said that he’d have his AK-47 assault rifle ready. That IRS thing had him all a flutter. Common sense told him that the conspiracy came from the top down.

Common sense is defined by Merriam-Webster as, "sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts. If there were facts to justify all this revolution talk, they would have been used early on at the restaurant or at the doctor’s office or on TV. In the absence of facts, conspiratorial arguments usually begin with “everyone knows” or “word on the street is” or “common sense says”. 

Otis Campbell’s grandfather was asked if he had any facts to back up his conspiracy theory. He did not utter another word.

Back at the Mexican restaurant, the grandmother was having a pleasant night out with the grandkids while granddad was getting his blood pressure up. I bet the granny, who was a cute granny, wished that granddad would save up a little of that testosterone for later that night or any night, instead of wasting it on Hannity and O’Riley.

When an East Cobb Republican’s wife hears the words conspiracy, IRS, birth certificate, IRS, or Benghazi on the TV or radio followed by “to make a contribution, go to my website.”, she knows that the savings account will get smaller in a few minutes.

If it wasn’t for blood pressure medicine, the old, white, angry Republicans in East Cobb could fit in a Mini-Cooper. If it wasn’t for blood pressure medicine, their wives would be widows and would be in West Palm spending their insurance money on the Cuban Cabana boy that they met at the Breakers.