Why There is no Need for Assault Rifles in Cobb County

Instead of fighting tyranny with an assault rifle, paintball fights and line-dancing might achieve the same results.

On TV recently, a number of people have defended the use of semi-automatic “assault” type rifles and large capacity magazines. They all gave the same reason. These weapons, which aren’t good for hunting or target shooting, are for fighting tyranny. While this may be a good enough reason for some, obviously they have not thought it through as much as they should have.

The first confrontation with tyranny that an assault weapon owner might have would be against the Cobb County Police. Whether the confrontation was caused by a neighbor’s dog barking, a dispute over the right to have chickens in the back yard, or too much Red Bull, Hannity, and Jack Daniels, the result will be the same. Cobb’s defenders against tyranny may have some assault rifles but the Cobb Police have more, and they have tear gas, not to mention an armored vehicle.

Plan “B” by Cobb freedom fighters would be to move to a remote county where they might outnumber and outgun the local police. The only problem would be that the Georgia State Patrol would come to evict or arrest the freedom fighters, if they so much as jay-walked. The state patrol has helicopters too.

Plan “C” has been in effect for a few years, take over a state. Idaho has been the state in many freedom fighters' fantasies. Some have actually moved there. If they refuse to recognize the authority of state and federal laws, they will recognize drone aircraft, tanks, and attack helicopters. Navy Seals won’t be needed for such a small operation. A few ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms) personnel should do.

Telling a child that there is no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy is wrong. Bursting an adult’s fantasy bubble is hard to do but sometimes, there is no choice. Telling a tyranny-fighting, gun-toting patriot that they are living a fantasy with no possibility of success is absolutely necessary. On the positive side, they might find other ways to live out their anti-social beliefs. Paintball competitions might be a therapeutic way to release some of the pent-up anger. There are people on golf courses who look like they are venting their anger more than trying to hit the little white ball. There is always therapy.

Whatever these folks decide to do to purge their demons, I wish them well. Their neighbors will feel a lot better too. If they tried line-dancing classes at Wild Bill’s Saloon, you never know, they might meet some girls.

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Paul The East Cobb Liberal January 19, 2013 at 03:54 PM
There is no need for anyone other than military and law enforcement to have an assault weapon or a high volume magazine. That really shouldn't be rocket science. It frankly is common sense. The 'protection from tyranny' argument is ridiculous and was nicely debunked in the Holzknecht article. Personal hand guns and hunting rifles are a completely different matter. Separately I chuckle at the poster who came up with the clever "Dumb Masses" name for those with whom he disagrees. Clearly we in the 'Masses' are in the presence of utter brilliance in the use of the language. Phil Gingrey's defense is in predictable hands.
jeff January 21, 2013 at 03:06 PM
Thankfully it's not The Bill of "Needs."
jeff January 21, 2013 at 03:25 PM
Also "assault" rifles are fully automatic(one trigger pull shoots many times) and cost more than $14,000 plus requiring a Stamp to own. The rifle used in CT was a semi-auto(one trigger pull one shot). Many rifles are semi-auto, the anti's group certain rifles in the "assault" category because of how they look. The FBI stats from 2011 show 323 homicides by all rifles, death by hammers are more, heck death by hands and feet are more.


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