If Bartenders Were Principals

If bartenders were principals, lessons would include how to make Mai Tais, Manhattans, and Martinis.

If matadors were principals, there would be a bull ring with a bull at every school.

If professional wrestlers were principals, there would be classes for pretend wrestling and over the top acting.

If the Rev. Jim Jones was a principal, Kool-Aid would be on the menu at lunch.

If commercial real estate salesmen were principals, every school would look like a potential strip mall.

If a businessman was a principal, like Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and he “had the ability to just design the system and say 'ex cathedra this is what we're going to do,' you would cut the number of teachers in half and weed out all the bad ones," "And double the class size with a better teacher is a good deal for the students."

If a politician like George W. Bush was principal, he would make every child stop learning and take tests, according to “No Child Left Behind.”

If a politician like U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan was principal, he would make every teacher get a two-hour review to see if the teacher was “bad.” If Mr. Duncan was the principal of a high school with 200 teachers, he would have to use 400 hours of his time or 10 weeks to see who was a good teacher and who wasn’t, according to his “Race to the Top” rules.

If religious extremists were principals, they would teach their beliefs instead of facts, and make ACLU lawyers win another easy case.

By the way, an educator recently told me how to determine who is a good teacher and who isn’t. Since I am a dad and not an educator, I had no idea what the test was. She, since most educators are women, said, “Ask your kid.”

Every kid in school knows if they have a good teacher. They also know who the other good teachers are. Teachers also know who the good teachers are. Principals know who the good teachers are. All the members of the parent-teacher organizations know who the good teachers are. Most moms know.

If someone wants to impose a test to determine who is a good teacher, this means that they know nothing about education and should not be allowed near a school.

If it weren’t for the moms and dads (mostly moms) supporting quality public education, our Cobb County schools would not be as good as they are.

If it weren’t for professional educators like School Superintendent Dr. Michael Hinojosa and Cobb School Board Chair Alison Bartlett fighting every day for our kids and for their teachers and principals, we would be the butt of jokes again on David Letterman and in court wasting time and money defending the indefensible.

Never vote for a school board member who does not have a background in education or your school board will consist of bartenders, matadors, professional wrestlers or worse.